Who's a Legend? I AM
by seion boshi
Summary: Orochimaru, Jiraiya and Tsunade: the Legendary Sannin. Mere ramblings of their escapades around Konoha. Recently evolved into a drabble, but inspired by a couple mischief makers I like to hang out with. Enjoy!
1. Shameless Victory?

**Summary: **The Sannin battle of a lifetime. The tables turn suddenly as Orochimaru gains the upper hand. Will the other two be able to bounce back in their last ditch effort to trounce the snake eyed Sound ninja? 

**Rated:** K+ for minor language

**Word Count: **615

**A/N: **This one-shot-turned-drabble is dedicated to my two best buddies out here in Japan. We are gonna make the best Sannin ever. Hehe. ;)

**Shameless Victory?**

A smirk crawled across Orochimaru's face as he stood watching his targets fall one after the other. His attack was perfect. Well-timed, and his aim was beyond compare. He chuckled as he approached. "My, my, my. Looks like I have the upper hand once again, Tsunade…Jiraiya." The other two thirds of the Legendary Sannin looked up at him, pained expressions painted plainly on their faces. Bending down to their level he sniggered, "Heh hm…Your move." He shrugged with a sneer of delight at seeing his two rivals in such a sticky situation. His snake eyes flashed as he turned, walked back to his previous position and waited.

Jiraiya groaned and stood, steadying himself on his knees. He was getting too old for this, but someone had to put this freak in his place. Those eyes gave him the creeps. His body felt heavy, but he couldn't give up now. He knew he wouldn't be able to live with himself if he did. He molded what was left of his chakra --_It has to be enough--_ and felt the energy begin to rotate in his palm. He stepped forward slowly, gaining momentum as he went. Finally at a sprint he cried, "Eat this!" thrusting the energy-filled sphere. At the brink of exhaustion, having fallen to his knees, the frog hermit slowly lifted his head. A miss… How could he have missed? He could hear Orochimaru laughing as the white-haired ninja knelt, drained, on the ground.

"Tsunade? Care to test _your_ luck?" the gravelly voice taunted her.  
"Orochimaru…!" she growled. They had been so close…_so_ close to finally defeating one of the most feared S-class criminals of the six hidden villages. But the Sound Ninja had pulled that last move and blind-sided them both.

Tsunade reluctantly picked herself up, all the while glaring at the pale ninja. Her pride would not allow her to sit by and let him make fools of them once again. Besides, being who she was, she couldn't possibly refuse such an upfront challenge. She stomped passed Jiraiya, now sitting cross-legged and rubbing his head. "Tsunade, ah…you…um…you don't have to…" Jiraiya began, but Tsunade quickly silenced him with a concrete sweep of her hand, stopping it directly in front of his face. "Don't interfere, Jiriaiya. I've had enough of this. He's pushed me too far this time."

As she aimed to strike, she sent up a silent prayer that her attack would hit. She was a seasoned fighter, but long-distance, especially projectiles were not her specialty. As she swung her arm back, the arsenal in her hand moved like a pendulum passing its lowest point and rising. Her arm extended as it came to the end of its arc. "TSUYAAAAAA!" she shouted as she let it fly. The ball screamed a path toward its target and…

_--CRASH--_

The sound of splintering wood accompanied the debris that flew in every direction. "YES!" she screamed, leaping in triumph and punching the air. "STRIIIKE! Yes, yes, YESSSSSSSS!" Tsunade spun around and grinned at the gaping black-haired Sannin standing next to the score computer. He glanced at the panel, his eye twitching as he read the little numbers in the frame labeled "10." He hissed as he bared his clenched teeth, "Tsunade…you…!"

"Hah HAH! BEAT your sorry ass 58 to 55!"

Still cross-legged on the floor in front of the alley, Jiraiya sighed and rested his head on his hand, elbow propped on his knee. He watched as the other two Sannin bickered and argued, Tsunade throwing chairs that _used_ to be bolted to the floor. He rolled his eyes and thought to himself, "At least _I_ was the one with the fewest gutter balls..."


	2. Everyone's an Otaku

**Summary:** Tsunade gets pissed at the other two Sannin for their insufferable tendency to…well…just read and find out!

**Rated: **K+ for minor language

**Word Count:** 754

**A/N: **For Kat because of her Sasuke and Naruto plushie fixation. I think they're damn cute. (and I wish I had a Kakashi...)

**Everyone's an Otaku**

_DON…DON…DON_  
"Crap! No!"  
A frustrated Tsunade jumped up and down as she frantically beat the shit out the taiko drum. The beats rushed by on the screen and cute little characters taunted her every time she missed. Taiko Master was only one of the　many video games she played, but athough she was good at it, the Game Center was usually left with one or two broken drums before the day was over.

Orochimaru on the other hand loved the UFO catcher. He spent countless hours feeding 100 yen coins into the deceiving claw-grabber machines, trying to retrieve plushies and other goodies that were just too heavy for the rigged claw to pick up. He growled, brow furrowed in determination as the claw nicked and missed the plushie closest to the drop slot. He'd been trying for over an hour already, damnit!

And _where_ was Jiraiya during all this? Well…to _him_, the Game Center meant only one thing. --PRINT CLUBS--. Why, might you ask? He wasn't necessarily interested in the pretty photos, hip backgrounds, or graffiti you could digitally apply afterward. The Game Center meant print clubs…but print clubs meant _girls_. Cute, giggling girls, mostly of the high school variety. Nothing could compare to the haven he found in the corner of the Game Center that housed the ingenious machines. Though, whenever he succeeded in staking out a perfect spot, the pickings were always scarce.

"GYAAAAAAHH!"  
A scream over by the video games. Jiraiya sighed. _Nothing's happening over here anyway. I guess I'll go survey the damage._ He made his way over to the smoking mass of wires and smashed computer parts, a nonchalant expression on his painted face. "You know…with all the money you _don't_ win at gambling, it's a wonder you have any to live off of after fiascos like this."  
"Shut UP, Jiraiya." It was difficult to tell who was smoldering more, Tsunade or the machine. "I was soCLOSE! The title of Taiko Tatsujin was almost MINE! It's those STUPID Savage Garden songs—they're so ANNOYING!"

"Tsunade." A raspy voice brought her back from the rant into which she was about to explode.  
"What." She shot the newcomer an annoyed glance at the deranged look he gave her. She _knew_ that look… "What is it, Orochimaru," she sighed.

"There's a boy I want."

"What!"

"There's a _toy_ I want."

"Well, have Jiraiya help you," she said, more than exasperated with the smoking pile of rubble. As she turned to elbow the frog hermit, she and Orochimaru exchanged a knowing glance as they watched him scampering off to the now crowded Print Club corner. Tsunade rolled her eyes as she heard a couple screams escape from a pair of traumatized girls scuttling from the area.

"Alright, _fine_. Here's another 500 yen."  
He took the coin, a savage hunger in his serpent eyes. He could get six turns for the price of five with this! Next time, surely…he would emerge victorious!

...5 minutes later...

"NO!"  
Orochimaru slammed his pale hands up against the plexiglass and peered in at his unreachable prey. _Sonofa…_ How long was it gonna _take_ damnit! Tsunade appeared behind him in a flash. "Orochimaru…!" she exclaimed when she saw what he was aiming for.  
"I _must_ have him, Tsunade. You don't understand." He pressed his face up against the window, desperation in his eyes.

Tsunade's fists clenched as she tried to restrain herself. This was ridiculous! For goodness _sake_, how many did he _need_! They had hit up every game center in the six villages and even bought out EBay. Yet here he was _again_, the greedy bastard, back for _more_!

"For the _love_ of…!" She smashed it. The UFO catcher squeaked and died as her fist shattered the plastic window. She had only meant to vent a _little_ of her frustration but…uurrrraaaaggghhhh! Screw it! She stormed off to find Jiraiya and get the hell out of there, cuz goddamnit, her game was broken and she just wanted to leave. After she had thundered off, Orochimaru turned his gaze back upon the spoils littered before him, and grinned.

...30 seconds later...

Heads turned and eyes stared, but nobody dared say a word as the three Legendary Ninja stalked out of the disaster zone that used to be the Konoha Game Center. Tsunade, still fuming, stormed ahead while a straggling Jiraiya, black eye and all, trudged behind. Exiting last, smug as ever was Orochimaru, grinning and chortling to himself, arms loaded with Sasuke plushies…


	3. A Perfect Match

**Summary:** Orochimaru's plan to get what he wants turns out to be rather profitable indeed.

**Rated: **K

**Word Count:** 493

**A**/**N: **For Kat. I wasn't there, but I heard what you guys did with your profiles, and I couldn't stop laughing. Have fun.

**A Perfect Match  
**

Number one: _S-n-a-k-e C-h-a-r-m-i-n-g._

Well, it was a hobby. No question about that. And why not? There is nothing wrong with admitting what you're good at.

Number two: _W-o-r-l-d D-o-m-i-n-a-t-i-o-n._

Yes. That was good. Certain to win him a few points. At least that line of work provided stability. Job security was a big deal to people these days. His lips curled into a devilish smile as his sinewy fingers clacked furiously across the keyboard.

Number three: _Living forever by transferring soul into other bodies._

He was running out of room now. They should really have more spaces to incorporate people with so many interests. With a graceful stroke, he punched the Enter key, sat back lacing his fingers to stretch. What else…

Footsteps grew louder in the corridor outside. Hurriedly, Orochimaru scrambled one last sentence onto the computer screen under "Other Comments" and clicked Send.  
The door opened and Kabuto marched into the room. "Orochimaru-sama, Preparations for the next attack on Konoha are now complete. We will be ready to move on your command."

Sitting up a little straighter, Orochimaru glared at the intruder briefly before his gravelly voice replied, "Good. I will assume command of the larger strike team and personally deliver my demands. That old fool, Sarutobi will have no choice. This time they'll have to give me what I wa—"

A delicate chime sounded from the computer's speakers followed by a male voice which exclaimed, "You've got mail!" Orochimaru's serpent eyes glanced toward the monitor momentarily before returning to Kabuto who stood, a little embarrassed, with a bewildered look on his face.  
"Tch…!" Orochimaru spun his swivel chair around to face the desk. Clicked the mouse, opened the mail window and stared.

"Hm hm hm hehehehehe," he chuckled to himself. "Kabuto. Abort the attack."

"But…Orochimaru-sama!"

"There is no need." Orochimaru did not turn from the computer but kept his manic eyes fixed on the glowing screen. Kabuto knew better than to argue and so left the way he came, shoulders hunched and grumbling to himself.

Click. Open. Subject: _Let's Meet._  
He scrolled down to view the sender's profile. The Minion Network was so convenient these days. He couldn't believe how quickly this response came.

Name:___S. U._  
Age: _old enough  
_ Hobbies/Interests: _1. __Being the best_ 2. _Cool contacts_ 3. _Plotting the death of my brother_  
Other Comments: ___In need of mentor to reach lifetime goal._

He read the message underneath:

___Hey there, Snake Eyes. That's a cool name. Your profile is really impressive. I was wondering if we could meet. I'm sure my credentials would more than exceed your expectations. One thing though. I was a little concerned about what you put for "Other Comments", something about 'little boys'? I just don't want you to get the wrong idea about me or anything…_

Orochimaru leered at the screen, triumphant.  
Click. Reply. Message:

___ To S.U.,  
Don't worry 'bout that. _ _((((((((((((((((( ' vv')--c_

___  
Snake Eyes will see you soon._


End file.
